How to Sit in a Chair

By Sophia

There are many, many options to choose from when sitting in a chair, none of which include actually sitting. Let me demonstrate.

Option #1 - The Backwards Crouch.
This position maximizes mommies chances of having a heart attack every time you almost fall over, this position is best utilized when mommy is acting a little distracted, its an immediate attention grabber.


Option #2 - The Almost Climb
Make them think you're going to climb on the table, but don't. This is best used in conjunction with a crouch sit. Starting in the crouch, move quickly into this position until mommy starts to stop you, then drop back into the crouch. repeat as needed.


Option #3 - The Classic Crouch
Used in conjunction with The almost Climb. Bonus points for the look of indignation. You actually thought Id climb onto the table? Me? On the table? How uncivilized do you think I am?

Option #4 - The I'm not climbing, I'm leaning.
Self Explanatory.


Option #5 - The Stand
This position needs to be carefully executed, but if you do it right, its very effective in terrifying mommy. I like to use The Stand while mommy is in the kitchen making lunch or dinner.


I hope you enjoyed my tutorial on How to Sit in a Chair.
Talk to you soon
Sophia

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