I had to give her chocolate to make her sit still. Its been almost an hour and she hasnt sat still since.
Chocolate may not have been the best choice
Morning snuggles
Running with Scissors
I recently came across this amazing blog. Its written by a soon to be mommmy who is in the middle of adopting a soon to be born baby girl. As a lot of you kow, and some may not, adoption is a very expensive endeavour and due to the circumstances of this adoption, time is short and so they are having a sale to help them raise the money needed to bring their baby home. Please please please check this amazing blog out, read their story and if you can, help them to achieve their dream to become parents.
Jaymi
A thousand tiny moments
I am a multi-tasker. I like to do a million things at once. I think its something that has been bred into my generation. We've grown up in a time where every second counts and with the technology available to us its possible to do so much at one time.
Were told to Carpe Diem, to seize the day. Make the most of every minute, and do the most with every day.
In my opinion this is both a blessing and a curse. At any given time I can be having eight separate conversations. I can check out facebook as I fold my laundry. Be on Skype with my mom as I pay my bills. I can do laundry, wash the dishes, sing a song with Sophia and IM a friend all at the same time. I can DO a lot of things, but i find that a lot of it is done almost on automatic.
One of the gifts I have been given as a mom, is the need to take things slowly. When you're breastfeeding, youre forced to slow down and just sit every couple of hours. To be entirely honest this used to drive me crazy! There's a pile of laundry waiting to be washed, beds to be made, dust to be eradicated. As a member of the multitasking generation, sitting still and doing just one thing, focusing all of my attention on just one task, well, it just seemed like I was wasting my time.
There was so much more I could be doing.
As my daughter grew and changed before my eyes, it was like a shift in consciousness. This became our time, where nothing could interfere, nothing else could be done, and so I came to accept it, and to cherish it. I looked forward to our little pockets of time when we could just focus on each other with no distractions, and by the time she weaned herself at 14 months, breastfeeding had become one of the highlights of my days. When it ended, I was heartbroken, but I have so many memories of our feeds. Stroking her soft cheek as she dozed off, playing with her hair, tickling her chin, just gazing into her eyes for a small eternity, and just really being there, 100%.
The along came Vanessa, filling our house with even more baby love, laundry and work. For several months after she came it seems like I never slept, or rested, or really did anything. There was just so much to do and only so many hours in the day. I was still breastfeeding but now I was entertaining a toddler as I did it, or talking on the phone, emailing, just always doing something. Because it was the only time I sat still during the day, it was also the time that I tried to do the most. Its not that i never spent any time with my kids, or that I didnt appreciate them, but I just didnt seem able to stop everything and just "be" with them.
In the last few months, as our family has adjusted to being a family of four, Ive started taking that time back. I make a point to carve out pieces of every day to just be with my girls. To color a picture with Sophia, to snuggle with Vanessa, a walk outside to collect pinecones, or just to play, ith no distractions, nothing to take even a single cell in my mind away from just being with my girls.
Last night it was bathtime. My girls like to bathe together, and they have so much fun in the bath. Normally bath time is daddy-time, but last night he had to work late so it fell to me. Sophia helped me to wash Vanessa hair and toes, and once they were both all clean i let them splash and play. I had a lot to do last night, and I was considering telling them that we were just going to have a short bath tonight, but something stopped me. Sophia was explaining to Vinnie the difference between a lot of water and just a little bit of water in her cup ( a lot of water is too heavy, just a little bit is just right), and it occurred to me, one day very soon, Sophia is going to want to bathe by herself. As she grows and gains more and more independence, things like shared bubble baths are going to become just memories, and when that day comes, I will be wishing for this. Next week, next month, next year, the fact that my laundry was put away, or the garbage was taken out, wont even matter, so why does it matter now. I need to take this time with my girls, while they still want to take it with me. Last night my girls didnt get out of the bath until they were both little prunes.
Carpe Diem - seize the day. Does it really mean what I used to think it did? Make the most out of every moment, and live your life to the fullest. Or does it mean what Ive recently started to beleive? Seize the moments that matter, and just "be". The unimportant things can wait.
Every day is made up of a thousand little moments, if we try to fill them with two thousand ticks off a to do list, we can lose out on the preciousness that a moment can hold. Thats not to say that I want to sit in rapture and stare at my kids all day, but I want to make a point of cherishing this amazing time in our lives a little more.
I know Carpe Diem has taken on a bit of a bad rap lately, but its something that I want to try to do, just not the way i used to.
Happy Valentines Day
Valentines day is a very special day for me. Love is something that I have been very blessed with. I have a wonderful husband and two amazing children as well as a network of extended friends and family that I am so thankful for every day, and that I try not to take for granted. I am very thankful for having a special time of year to focus on the amount of love that i am lucky enough to both give and receive.
A lot of people consider valentines day a commercial holiday but for our little family it really isnt. When me and my husband were dating we barely had enough money to live paycheque to paycheque and extra was very hard to find. Valentines day was celebrated with handmade cards, poems, and homemade dinners. Now thankfully weve moved past the days when a dollar store card was out of reach but weve managed to hold on to the tradition of gifts from the heart.
No roses or chocolates will ever be able to replace a hand written note declaring love. Fancy dinners and dates are wonderful but i know that memories of a sleepy kiss and warm arm around me will be the things i cherish in my old age.
I like to think that my daughters will feel the same way. Yesterday me and sophia took time to finger paint a special picture for her grandparents. She was so impatient for it to dry and once it did i helped her cut it out into a chain of hearts.
She was so proud of her painting and on the short drive to my parents she kept folding and refolding it, wanting it to be perfect for nonna and nonno. There was so much love in that little painting. It made me so proud.
Today i am going to take a little extra time with my girls, im going to give them some extra snuggles, giggles and fun. Im going to make sure that they hear how much their loved and make sure to take the time to enjoy the love they give so freely.
Love is life and my life is full of love. For this I am truly blessed.
Lazy sunday
Its a cold snowy day outside and i just feel like hibernating.
It seems like my life is so full of to-dos right now and every day is packed full. Between the gym, the kids, my as yet unfulfilled new years reolution to purge my house, visiting family, etc, i seem to have no time to just sit back and relax.
I had been planning on taking the girls to the park today, but instead i think a pj day is just what the dr. ordered.
Apparently even the dolls cosleep in our house
Last night as i was cleaning up after Hurricane Sophia, i noticed that she had set her dolls up to go to bed. Mommy and the baby girl were snuggled up together on the bed while daddy and the baby boy were asleep together on the couch. It was such a peaceful scene and it warmed my heart to see that Sophia was modeling her doll play after our own family habits.
However, in my experience, sleeping with babies is rarely as relaxing an endeavor as Sophia had shown. And so i made a few edits...
I think she may be confused.
Ever since I had my youngest daughter Ive been trying to make sure to find one on one time with my toddler. In the beginning it was almost impossible to plan my days but now that things have settled down and Vanessa is taking something resembling a nap on a semi regular basis, Ive been able to devote a few specific times a day to Sophia.
Every day we have our little rituals. Nap time stories, emptying the dishwasher and making the bed have become something we both look forward to.
Our favorite ritual by far though is Sophia's massage. I used to give S. a massage when she was little, every night after her bath. We both loved it. But as she got older and bath time became play time and after bath time became chase-the-wriggling-wet-screaming-toddler-through-the-house-time, our quiet massage ritual became a rarity. Then came the chaos of two under two and for several months we had no routine or schedule at all.
Ive now carved out a piece of (almost) every morning just after Sophia wakes up, and while Vinnie is down for her morning nap, for massage time. We use pretty smelling cream and rub her toes,legs, back, tummy and arms.
Ive been trying to use this time to teach Sophia the names of her body parts. Last week we talked about funny bones. Sophia thought this was the funniest name ever and every opportunity she got she would point her elbows and yell "funny elbows" while laughing uncontrollably.
This morning i spent a little time talking about her feet. I showed her her heels, her arches, the balls of her feet, and her toes. We also talked about the muscles in her feet and legs and how they all work together to help her run. She was very quiet all through our little lesson and when we were done she ran off to play.
Ten minutes later daddy came downstairs. Sophia ran up to him, sat down with a thump, lifted her feet in the air and declared loudly enough for the neighbors to hear.
"Look at my balls daddy! Look at them"
I couldn't help bursting out with laughter at his face. I rarely see my husband speechless so this was a treat. Of course Sophia saw my laughing and kept at it, spinning in circles and singing "dancing on my balls dancing on my toe-toes dancing on my balls"
I think she may be a little confused.
You really cant predict what a toddler will take from anything you teach them, i just hope she gets all the ball talk out of her system before we go to her grandmothers house tonight for dinner...
Baby Fever - Its contagious.
Its official. I have baby fever.
Ugh. I think I must be insane. Vanessa is only 7 months old and yet Ive found myself staring longingly at bellies and newborns every time I see them. Ive worked hard at getting my body back, and yet i found myslef hesitating to put my maternity clothes away in storage.
I must be sick.
Its not helping that my SIL is about seven months pregnant. Every time i see her beautiful belly, im reminded of how much I loved mine. How much I loved feeling my babies move and kick, and how great i felt when I was pregnant.
One of my biggest fears is that dealing with infertility will leave permanent marks on me. I'm worried that I will never find a place where I feel done. Will I always want another baby? omg, am I going to end up a Duggar?
One thing I know for sure is that I dont want another baby right now. Three under three may be fun for some but i just don't think I could do it. Sophia and Vanessa fill up my days completely, how would i find the time to give them everything they need and take care of another one?
Logically I know this, unfortunately Ive have never been known for my logic.
For now I am going to try to live vicariously through my preggo friends and family, and if the fever gets too bad, Ill just try to remember what four straight months of sleepless nights felt like.
Hopefully it works.
Look Mommy Im Sharing
The other day Sophia decided she was going to share the babies pillow with her. I didn't have the heart to tell her that climbing onto the pillow her sister was already sitting on and announcing " its ok Vinnie i no push you off" didn't exactly count as sharing...
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