Its official. I have baby fever.
Ugh. I think I must be insane. Vanessa is only 7 months old and yet Ive found myself staring longingly at bellies and newborns every time I see them. Ive worked hard at getting my body back, and yet i found myslef hesitating to put my maternity clothes away in storage.
I must be sick.
Its not helping that my SIL is about seven months pregnant. Every time i see her beautiful belly, im reminded of how much I loved mine. How much I loved feeling my babies move and kick, and how great i felt when I was pregnant.
One of my biggest fears is that dealing with infertility will leave permanent marks on me. I'm worried that I will never find a place where I feel done. Will I always want another baby? omg, am I going to end up a Duggar?
One thing I know for sure is that I dont want another baby right now. Three under three may be fun for some but i just don't think I could do it. Sophia and Vanessa fill up my days completely, how would i find the time to give them everything they need and take care of another one?
Logically I know this, unfortunately Ive have never been known for my logic.
For now I am going to try to live vicariously through my preggo friends and family, and if the fever gets too bad, Ill just try to remember what four straight months of sleepless nights felt like.
Hopefully it works.
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