6 Things Nobody Tells You About Potty Training

Potty training, no matter what way you look at it, its not fun for anyone.  Luckily the thought of not having to change any more diapers ( or at leats 10-12 less a day)  is enough to inspire even the most reluctant parents.  We are now elbows deep in our second round of potty training and I'm pretty sure my bathroom will never be clean again, and I'm being reluctanlty reminded of a few "surprises" I discovered in the first round.

Parenting Through the Hard Stuff

My kids have always been my main source of joy, when I have an off day, they are the ones that can cheer me up and remind me of how insignificant my troubles usually are.
When I'm stressed out and mad at the world, I can immerse myself into their world, a world of play and magic, of fun, and imagination.  It's a world where adult problems aren't even on the radar, and where the worst catastrophes can be solved with a snuggle

Staying Connected as Partners and Parents

When I was pregnant with Sophia, me and my husband took a parenting class.  We learned all the essential skills that we needed in order to not break the baby; proper swaddling, proper sterilization, techniques to help baby sleep, eat, and play.

The very last day of the class focused on our relationship as a couple. We talked about what we loved about the other person, and about the qualities in our mate that would make them a good parent. We learned techniques to support each other through the changes that were coming our way, and at the end of the class we signed a contract to each other that even as we changed from a blissful couple to a family of three, we would remember that before we were parents, we were partners, we were lovers, and we were friends.  The contract made us promise that we would make alone time for each other as a couple, even amidst the chaos of parenthood.

At the time I thought how silly that was, of course I would remember all that.  We, as a couple,  had never been more happy and in love, we had been married less than two years, and soon we would be welcoming our first child, a living breathing symbol of the love we shared.  How could I possibly forget?

And then I had the baby.

Becoming More Present in my Children's Lives

I have heard so much about being present lately, it seems to me that it was everyone's  New Years resolution.
To be more present.
More present in their relationships with their wives and husbands, more present with their kids, more present in their own lives.  In fact, it was one of my own resolutions this year.

What I Didnt Know About Having Three Kids

When I was pregnant with Z, I wasn't worried, I thought I has this parenting thing down.
I mean, I had two kids already, and if I could handle two babies only eighteen months apart, then I could handle this!

How hard could three be?

Especially since my eldest was going to be starting school only weeks after little Zs arrival.

I had no idea. 

Three kids is hard! 

And it's hard in ways that I didn't even think about before I was deep in the ranks.
If you're pregnant with, or planning your third I don't mean to scare you but,

BE PREPARED.

Why I Love my Smartphone

I am always being bombarded with articles on Facebook about moms spending too much time on their phones/blackberries/tablets/etc.
Now, while I will be the first person to agree that too much screen time is no good for anyone, I have to step out and say that I think my smart phone makes me a better mom.

Baby Fever - Its contagious.

Its official. I have baby fever.
Ugh. I think I must be insane. Vanessa is only 7 months old and yet Ive found myself staring longingly at bellies and newborns every time I see them. Ive worked hard at getting my body back, and yet i found myslef hesitating to put my maternity clothes away in storage.
I must be sick.
Its not helping that my SIL is about seven months pregnant. Every time i see her beautiful belly, im reminded of how much I loved mine. How much I loved feeling my babies move and kick, and how great i felt when I was pregnant.
One of my biggest fears is that dealing with infertility will leave permanent marks on me. I'm worried that I will never find a place where I feel done. Will I always want another baby? omg, am I going to end up a Duggar?
One thing I know for sure is that I dont want another baby right now. Three under three may be fun for some but i just don't think I could do it. Sophia and Vanessa fill up my days completely, how would i find the time to give them everything they need and take care of another one?
Logically I know this, unfortunately Ive have never been known for my logic.
For now I am going to try to live vicariously through my preggo friends and family, and if the fever gets too bad, Ill just try to remember what four straight months of sleepless nights felt like.
Hopefully it works.

Dear Daughter

11 Step Program for those Considering Parenthood

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out…

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this – all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say ‘it’s all worth it!’ Share it with your friends, both those who do and don’t have kids. I guarantee they’ll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you’ll need when you become a parent!

Sling Safety Warning

WASHINGTON, D.C.- The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is advising parents and caregivers to be cautious when using infant slings for babies younger than four months of age. In researching incident reports from the past 20 years, CPSC identified and is investigating at least 14 deaths associated with sling-style infant carriers, including three in 2009. Twelve of the deaths involved babies younger than four months of age.

Slings can pose two different types of suffocation hazards to babies. In the first few months of life, babies cannot control their heads because of weak neck muscles. The sling’s fabric can press against an infant’s nose and mouth, blocking the baby’s breathing and rapidly suffocating a baby within a minute or two. Additionally, where a sling keeps the infant in a curled position bending the chin toward the chest, the airways can be restricted, limiting the oxygen supply. The baby will not be able to cry for help and can slowly suffocate.

Click here to read the entire warning

Belly Charms Giveaway

I was lucky enough recently to have the opportunity to review a Tahitian Swarovski Pearl Mothers Anklet from Belly Charms. Its no secret that I love jewellery, My wonderful husband has spent more time than he could ever want to browsing jewellery stores, both with and without me.
I would be hard pressed to pick a favorite piece from my collection, that is until I opened up my envelope from Belly Charms. Putting my daughters name on a piece of jewellery is the perfect way to ensure it becomes the favorite of any sentimental mommy. I now wear my anklet every day, and I cant wait for summer so I can show it off . Its so pretty in fact, that it is now displayed on their website!Can you think of a better baby shower or new mommy present than a bracelet or anklet with her little bundles name on it? can feature optional silver beads, swarovski pearls or crystal beads, initials or a name, different clasps,, Jasper beads, a double strand, or more- and all for very affordable prices (prices range from about $24.99 to $49.99).

****GIVEAWAY****

Belly Charms has been great enough to offer Modern Housewife Readers a chance to win their very own Personalised Tahitian Swarovski Pearl Mothers Anklet!

To enter, check out the Belly Charms and tell Modern Housewife what your fave pieces are.
Giveaway ends 03/07 at midnight.

Extra Entries (you can do one or all of the following but leave a separate comment for each)

1.Vote for Modern Housewife on Top Baby Blogs

2. Place a ModernHousewife button on your own personal blog (found on sidebar)

3. Become a Modern Housewife follower by adding yourself to the group of followers on the right hand sidebar

4. Follow ModernHousewife on Twitter and tweet this giveaway.

5. Become a fan of Modern Housewife on Facebook and change your status to "____ wants to win a tahitian pearl; bracelet from http://thelifeofamodernhousewife.blogspot.com/"

6. Blog about this giveaway, with a link back to me. Make sure you give me the link to see it!!

I will use random.org to choose the winner, contact them via email, and post the winning name here on Modern Housewife. The winner will have 72 hrs to respond, or a new name will be drawn. Make sure your profile is set to 'public', or leave your email address in your comment. Either way is fine, but if I have no way of contacting you, a new name will be drawn.

Good Luck!

Dr Seuss for Nursing Moms

Would you nurse her in the park?
Would you nurse him in the dark?
Would you nurse him with a Boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse him in the park,
I would nurse her in the dark.
I’d nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.

Can you nurse with your seat belt on?
Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though she may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse her `till she’s full!

Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes her healthy strong and smart,
Mommy’s milk is the best start!

Would you nurse him at the game?
Would you nurse her in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse him at the game.
I would nurse her in the rain.

As for those who protest lactation,
I have the perfect explanation.
Mommy’s milk is tailor made
It’s the perfect food, you need no aid.

Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast’s the perfect food!

I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that this milk’s the perfect food!

We make the amount we need
The perfect temp for every feed.
There’s no compare to milk from breast-
The perfect food, above the rest.

Those sweet nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mommy’s milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can’t be beat.
I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.

I will not let my baby cry,
I’ll meet her needs, I’ll always try.
It’s not about what’s good for you,
It’s best for babies, through and through.

I will nurse her in my home,
I will nurse her when I roam.
Leave me be lads and ma’am.
I will nurse her, Mom I am.

Author unknown

41 things that change when you have a baby

from babyzone

What changes when you have a baby? A better question may be: What doesn't change? Here, writer and mom Rebecca Woolf lists her most notable post-baby observations. Then scroll down to read our favorite comments from readers about how their babies changed their lives.

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid. [See a reader's perspective in #22, below.]

3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

4. You respect your body ... finally.

5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.

6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.

7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.

8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.

9. Your heart breaks much more easily.

10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.

11. Every day is a surprise.

12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

14. You become a morning person.

15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

And from our readers...
1. "You discover how much there is to say about one tooth." — Ashley's mom

2. "You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth." — Anonymous

3. "You now know where the sun comes from." — Charlotte

4. "You'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that you've been dying to have." — Sophie's mom

5. "You realize that although sticky, lollipops have magical powers." — Roxanne

6. "You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night." — Kellye

7. "Silence? What's that?" — Anonymous

8. "You realize that the 15 pounds you can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having." — Brenda

9. "You discover an inner strength you never thought you had." — Ronin and Brookie's mom

10. "You no longer rely on a clock — your baby now sets your schedule." — Thomas' mom

11. "You give parents with a screaming child an 'I-know-the-feeling' look instead of a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' one." — Jaidyn's mom

12. You can have the most wonderful conversation using only vowel sounds like "ahhh" and "oooo." — littlehulk2008

13. "You take the time for one more hug and kiss even if it means you'll be late." — Tracey

14. "You learn that taking a shower is a luxury." — Jayden's mom

15. "You realize that you can love a complete stranger." — Dezarae's mom

16. You find yourself wanting to make this world a better place. — Arizona

17. If you didn’t believe in love at first sight before, now you do! — Ciara

18. You start to appreciate Sesame Street for its intellectual contribution. — Anon.

19. You have to quit watching the news because you see every story from a mother's perspective and it breaks your heart. — Brooke&Boys

20. You just plain love life more - everything comes together and becomes better because of one tiny person and your love for them. — Anon.

21. You finally find out the real reason you have those breasts. — Anon.

22. In response to #2 [above], I'd say that where you were once afraid, you're now fearless. I was always very timid and shy and let myself get walked all over … but now where my kid's concerned, I'll speak my mind and really connect with my inner "b"! — gummismom

23. The support you get from other people surprises you, because the people giving it are not always the ones you'd expect. — japanese_macaque

24. Nothing is just yours any longer. You share EVERYTHING! — DylanLsMom

25. No matter what you've accomplished in life, you look at your child and think, "I've done a GREAT job!" — Anon.

26. You want to take better care of yourself for your child. — Treasor

Would you like to add to this list? We'd love to hear what changed for you.

Jaymi

Mommy Wars

As moms, we've all heard our parenting skills being questioned or even criticized at one point or another. (Hey, it's practically a rite of passage.) But while some comments might be easy to brush off, others sting a little bit. Maybe it was your mother-in-law's "sage" advice at the family barbecue, warning that you’re swaddling too tight; or what's-her-face from Mommy and Me class preaching the wonders of Cry It Out and how you've been spoiling baby with too much attention. No matter what kind of unsolicited advice, snarky comment, or off-the-cuff remark has been hurled your way, chances are it’s left you thinking the same thing: Maybe you’re not really that good of a mother after all. Find out why we all fall victim to the mommy wars and how to win the next battle.

Everyone’s a Critic...

When it comes to the harsh world of mommy judgment, Amy Nobile -- mother of two and coauthor of I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids -- is definitely no stranger. Her first real taste of it came after joining a local mom group several years ago. Walking in, she expected to find support and maybe even gain a few new friends. But she walked out feeling "completely guilt-ridden and horrified." The point of contention? Nobile mentioned she had already weaned her baby -- at 12 weeks. "The other mothers looked at me like, What is wrong with you?!" she now recalls. "I left feeling like I was really doing something wrong, until my friend talked some sense into me."

Nobile isn't alone. Plenty of Bumpies agree that they’ve been criticized on everything from formula feeding to how baby’s dressed or whether baby’s sleeping through the night yet. And while some moms can just let things roll of their back, others take it to heart.

The Root of the Problem

So just where does this parenting blame game really come from? According to Nobile, it usually stems from our own overblown expectations of motherhood. "As women, we seem to think we should do it all and have it all," she says. “The expectations of being a good mom are over the top and we become so insecure that we end up judging other moms in the process. All of a sudden we're competitive when we should really be honoring each other's choices."

In her book, Nobile (along with friend and coauthor Trisha Ashworth) points out another big reason for all the mommy judging: Things have changed so much in the last few generations that modern moms can’t always look to their own mothers as role models. For instance, now that breastfeeding is making a big comeback, children raised in the formula generation can't exactly ask Mom for much advice in that department. Instead, they look to the obvious source: other young moms. Thus, the comparisons begin.

But regardless of why we do it, there's no denying that somewhere along the line, honoring each other's choices turned into calling each other out on them. For stay-at-home mom sarehbaca, she often finds herself defending her decision not to return to work after the birth of her baby. "People say annoying things like, 'Oh, you'll find work soon,'" she explains. "Sometimes they assume that I can't find work and don't consider that I'm choosing to stay home to raise my daughter."

Of course, most of the time (if not all of the time) the comments new moms get certainly aren't intended to sting. "I think there's a real contradiction about this in American culture," says Susan Douglas, PhD, professor of communications at the University of Michigan and coauthor of The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined All Women. "On the one hand, people commonly comment on or critique each other’s parenting out of habit, but at the same time, it’s still considered pretty verboten to do so." It's natural for people to want to speak up and offer advice, she notes, but they’re not always sure how to do it or what to say.

How to Deal

Sorry, there's not one really good comeback. We wish there could be a nice and tidy answer for you (really, we do), but of course, every situation is different. Our best advice: Go with your gut (as long as that doesn't include completely flying off the handle). Here are some pointers for how not to lose your cool the next time your mommy skills come under fire.

Go the humor route. True, it won't work for every scenario, but a good sarcastic comeback can sure make you feel good sometimes. Need a little help thinking of one-liners? Flip open I Was a Really Good Mom..., and you’ll find the "Comeback Chart," a collection of common questions thrown at new moms, along with some pretty tongue-in-cheek retorts. Here's one of our favorites:

The comment: "Your toddler is still in a crib?"
The comeback: "Of course! The latest research proves that the longer you keep them in cribs, the smarter they are."

Stick up for yourself. Sometimes an off-color remark can leave you speechless. Take this scenario, shared by violetvirgo: "One time my husband and I were grocery shopping with the baby when we popped into a walk-in freezer for some food. That's when we heard this older woman say (not-so-subtly) to her daughter: 'They need to put a hat on that baby...it’s going to get sick in here!' I was so annoyed I said (very loudly) to my husband, 'Did you hear that?!'"

Our take: Sometimes, people need to know when they've over-stepped their boundaries, and other times it's best to pick your battles. Decide for yourself whether or not you think you should pipe up, but try not to hit below the belt if you do fire a comeback. Mom violetvirgo could have let the woman know that she was heard and simply stated that being slightly cold for a minute or two doesn't actually cause a baby to catch a cold.

Take a cue from Dad (aka chill out). If we're going to be honest, women's lib has come a long way, but most would agree that the majority of Americans still hold motherhood to different standards than fatherhood. "If a man changes a diaper, he's Father of the Year," notes Bumpie fredalina. "I’ve seen my husband get so much praise from friends and family for being a wonderful father. And while he truly is, there’s comparatively little praise for my parenting."

True, this can be totally frustrating, but according to Nobile, there are some things we can learn from their approach to parenting: They don't compare themselves to each other. "Men go into fatherhood knowing it's going to be work but it's okay that it's going to be imperfect," she says. "They don't understand why we're going to have a mental breakdown because there's no milk left in the fridge. They see the bigger picture."

Keep things in perspective. The bottom line is, as long as baby's safe, choose what advice you want to take into consideration and ignore all the rest. Most of the time, a simple, "Well maybe that worked for you, but this is what works for me," might put an end to the topic altogether. "What I've learned as a mom is to really make peace with what worked for my family," says Nobile. "It's not about what's right or wrong. You need to learn to trust your own choices."

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