First Child, Second Child, Third

How Motherhood Progresses as the Family Increases

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB-GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your regular clothes ARE your maternity clothes.

The Baby's Name

1st baby: You pore over baby name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Sounds good to me!

Preparing for birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing regularly.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in the 8th month.


1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure the clothes are clean and discard only those with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they??


1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick up the baby when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3 yr old how to rewind the mechanical swing.


1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swim and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: Your take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.

Going Out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

1st baby You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.
3rd baby You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

If anyone knows who wrote this story contact
Modern Housewife so we can properly credit the story.


  1. Hahaha that's great. It is very obvious that this is my first baby, haha

  2. Awesome! I am joining the fun!!!
    Mrs. Muffins


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