Back When It All Was New
A good friend of mine recently found out that shes expecting her first baby.
I am beyond excited!
I love watching the people around me grow their families, and there's something magical about going through it for the first time, isn't there?
She has so much to look forward to, the fluttery baby kicks, the growing belly, the connection that you feel with your baby, before you even meet them. I cant wait to watch her blossom into a mother, and to watch her and her husband become parents.
As I always do, whether I get asked or not, I want to share my own knowledge with them. Which prenatals are best, what you can do for a headache, what is safe to eat and what isn't?
I find though, that in talking to them, my mind has drudged up memories of a time when it was all new to me.
Things I haven't thought about for years. Like how terrified I was sitting on my bed, holding a stick with those two little lines that we had been trying so hard to see. I was scared, excited, nauseous, and happy, all at once.
All of my best laid plans about how I was going to tell my husband went out the window as I called him at work, crying so hard that I could barely get the words out. I must have terrified him before he figured out what was up.
I remember after my water broke, my excitement as I walked the halls of the hospital in the tiny hours of the morning trying to get my contractions to start. Me and my husband bouncing back and forth between laughing and joking together to pass the time, and walking together in silence as the enormity of what was happening washed over us.
Most of all though, my mind takes me back to the hours and days after she came, when I learned what it felt like to love someone that much. The hours I spent learning to feed her and change her, to dress her and cuddle her, and the hours I spent watching her sleep. As she lay there so peacefully, I never left her side.
I would watch in awe as her little chest raised and fell, and her eyes and lips moved in reaction to her dreams. I couldn't believe that we had created something so perfect!
One of the greatest memories for me though, was watching my husband become a father. I remember thinking to myself in amazement that I never knew the happiest days of my life would be spent watching my husband fall in love with another woman.
I want to shout from the rooftops for my friend. To tell her all of the happiness that is coming, but even more than that I cant wait to watch them discover it all for themselves.