The Mommy Wars are Alive and Well
As I sit here to write this, my eldest daughter is at school.
My middle baby is asleep upstairs, tired out from a morning of hide and seek with me and the cat.
My little baby is beside me hiccuping and laughing, even though he should be sleeping.
He doesn't do much of that any more. Little does he know how much he'll regret fighting naps like this, when hes thirty, and wants nothing more than to take a daily nap.
My babies, they are my life.
If I never do anything else with my life other than to do right by them, I will be proud.
They are the reason I am awake at three in the morning worrying about the state of the world. They are the reason my Kobo is now full of parenting books and sleep books and baby cook books. They are the reason I doubt myself and my decisions so deeply sometimes that I want to cry.
But you know what?
I'm the best they're going to get. I don't think there's a mom out there who knows about my kids better than I do. Call it confidence, call it cockiness or know-it-allness, but I know that I am the best person to be doing this job, for these kids. I also know that I would suck at raising other peoples kids for the same reason.
I think its that confidence that has kept me pretty much outside of the mommy wars up to this point.
This morning though, I watched an internet forum blow up in debate over formula vs breastfeeding.
I mean, I watched it BLOW UP.
It was awful, the word monster was used to describe women who were feeding their children formula.
To me, it was ridiculous, but there were women involved in that "conversation" that were genuinely hurt. I wanted to reach through my screen and give each one of those mothers a hug.
How are we as mothers treating each other this way?
The Breast vs Formula battles, the Work vs SAHM battles, purees vs BLW, hippy moms vs high tech moms, public school vs homeschooling, its never ending! There are so many real issues out there that we could be dealing with, and yet this is what we are fighting about?
Why cant we just come together and support one another? Why is it so important what other people are doing or not doing with their children?
No one out there is walking the same road as anyone else, and yet people feel qualified to chime in on the personal decisions of complete strangers, its not right.
We as mothers are getting so worked up about the so called issues that we are forgetting the most important issue of all, the kids. It is our job to turn these little sponges into functioning human beings. If we want our kids to grow up to be caring, compassionate and accepting, then we have to lead by example. Our kids are watching the way we treat each other, and they are learning. What do you want them to learn from you?
This mommy gig is tough, and having support, even anonymous Internet support can be so very valuable, so why cant we try to throw some love instead of shade?