Ode to my Iphone

Iphone, you were so much more than a phone to me, you were the taker of selfies, the keeper of appointments, the ender of naps.  You were my first IOS phone, and though I resisted your allure for as long as I could, once you were in my hands, I was yours.  We had a love affair that could rival any Hollywood Movie, I used to think it was so cliche, but you really did complete me.

Wanted for crimes against my home and sanity

Name : Vanessa

AKA : The Little One, Vinnie the Destroyer, Psycho Vin
Last known Location: Under the table pulling fur off the cat
Height/Weight: short and skinny
Hair: Messy, often with an elastic half pulled out of it
Eyes: Blue and shifty, constantly looking for trouble
Other Phys. Characteristics: extreme cuteness

Wanted In connection with a recent crime spree that has resulted in the destruction of property and thier mothers sanity.

Exhibit A

One of the many crime scenes where the suspect decided that the four month old beige carpet featured throughout the house was in need of a makeover, in this instance with a sharpie.  Suspect has also been known to use spaghetti sauce, mud, and the entire crayola line.

Exhibit B

This fridge was 5 minutes old when the suspect got ahold of it. Injuries have been diagnosed as permanent

Exhibit C

Suspect has made it her mission in life to remove all paint from the front door, and attempt to feed it to cats.

Exhibit D

Every. Single. Doorstopper.
Every. Single. Day.
Suspect then proceeds to run around slamming doors open and shut.

Exhibit E

Suspect insists on completely distroying front entranceway immediately upon hearing of company coming over. Attempts to stop destruction result in extreme tantrums.

Vanessa is suspected to be operating in cooperation with Sophia ( aka The Big One, Sophie Wophers, and chicken) although Sophia has managed to avoid being caught red handed it is suspected that she is at least partially involved in this crime spree, though it is unclear at this point to what extent. If you see the suspects in action, please for the love of god stop them!

They're starting to work together

Sophia and her "liddle sisser"

but it's against me!

I always wanted my kids to be close. Close in age, and close friends as well. When I found out that my second pregnancy was also a girl, I felt that my eldest had lucked out, a built in best friend, what could be better than that? 
For the first eight months of my life as a mom of two, it was blissful contentment, Sophia really didn't notice the baby too much except to coo at her, or give her kisses and snuggles, she would tell everyone about the baby being " my liddle sisser", and there was always such pride in her voice. 

Then the baby began to crawl, and she loved to crawl to Sophia, or more specifically Sophia's toys. It was always whatever Sophia had that had the most interest to her baby sister. I knew that it was the beginnings of hero worship, but to Sophia it was this clumsy drooling monster intent on taking her things. All of a sudden poor Vinnie was less the "liddle sisser" and more the

"mommyshestouchingmydollyagainmakeherstopmakeherstopmakeherstop".





Over time, and really not as much time as you would think, Vanessa began to relish her roll as the tormenting little sister.  I would watch her sit across a room from Sophia, who was oblivious to being studied, and I could see the plotting going through her sneaky little sister mind.  If I was patient, and I waited ( never long) I would be able to witness Vanessa's lightning quick attacks on whatever Sophia was playing with at the moment.  I swear, sometimes I felt like I was on safari watching the Cheetahs attack.



accomplices



Now though, that Vanessa is fully mobile, and a lot more communicative, I'm noticing a whole new kind of relationship come about, almost a partnership, or maybe a dictatorship is a better word. Following her big sisters instructions Vanessa ( who's hands are the only ones small enough) has been caught many times pilfering snacks from the cupboard. Vanessa is now the one that scales down the backs of my furniture to get dropped toys, the one who is helped (pushed) over the baby gate in the living room to run amok.  On one hand I'm happy to see that they're learning to work together, and that they have each others backs, on the other hand, I'm dreading whats to come as their plans grow in scale and ambition.
I think yesterdays facebook stauts sort of sums it all up,

"Just heard a thump coming from the backroom where the girls are, followed by Vanessa crying, within seconds I also heard Sophia rush to her sister and say Shhh Vinvin its ok shhhh and a big kiss, my heart was warmed and i walked into the room just in time to hear Sophia say, shhhhh dont tell mom, shes coming now.


sigh"

A thousand tiny moments

I am a multi-tasker. I like to do a million things at once. I think its something that has been bred into my generation. We've grown up in a time where every second counts and with the technology available to us its possible to do so much at one time.
Were told to Carpe Diem, to seize the day. Make the most of every minute, and do the most with every day.
In my opinion this is both a blessing and a curse. At any given time I can be having eight separate conversations. I can check out facebook as I fold my laundry. Be on Skype with my mom as I pay my bills. I can do laundry, wash the dishes, sing a song with Sophia and IM a friend all at the same time. I can DO a lot of things, but i find that a lot of it is done almost on automatic.
One of the gifts I have been given as a mom, is the need to take things slowly. When you're breastfeeding, youre forced to slow down and just sit every couple of hours. To be entirely honest this used to drive me crazy! There's a pile of laundry waiting to be washed, beds to be made, dust to be eradicated. As a member of the multitasking generation, sitting still and doing just one thing, focusing all of my attention on just one task, well, it just seemed like I was wasting my time.
There was so much more I could be doing.
As my daughter grew and changed before my eyes, it was like a shift in consciousness. This became our time, where nothing could interfere, nothing else could be done, and so I came to accept it, and to cherish it. I looked forward to our little pockets of time when we could just focus on each other with no distractions, and by the time she weaned herself at 14 months, breastfeeding had become one of the highlights of my days. When it ended, I was heartbroken, but I have so many memories of our feeds. Stroking her soft cheek as she dozed off, playing with her hair, tickling her chin, just gazing into her eyes for a small eternity, and just really being there, 100%.
The along came Vanessa, filling our house with even more baby love, laundry and work. For several months after she came it seems like I never slept, or rested, or really did anything. There was just so much to do and only so many hours in the day. I was still breastfeeding but now I was entertaining a toddler as I did it, or talking on the phone, emailing, just always doing something. Because it was the only time I sat still during the day, it was also the time that I tried to do the most. Its not that i never spent any time with my kids, or that I didnt appreciate them, but I just didnt seem able to stop everything and just "be" with them.
In the last few months, as our family has adjusted to being a family of four, Ive started taking that time back. I make a point to carve out pieces of every day to just be with my girls. To color a picture with Sophia, to snuggle with Vanessa, a walk outside to collect pinecones, or just to play, ith no distractions, nothing to take even a single cell in my mind away from just being with my girls.
Last night it was bathtime. My girls like to bathe together, and they have so much fun in the bath. Normally bath time is daddy-time, but last night he had to work late so it fell to me. Sophia helped me to wash Vanessa hair and toes, and once they were both all clean i let them splash and play. I had a lot to do last night, and I was considering telling them that we were just going to have a short bath tonight, but something stopped me. Sophia was explaining to Vinnie the difference between a lot of water and just a little bit of water in her cup ( a lot of water is too heavy, just a little bit is just right), and it occurred to me, one day very soon, Sophia is going to want to bathe by herself. As she grows and gains more and more independence, things like shared bubble baths are going to become just memories, and when that day comes, I will be wishing for this. Next week, next month, next year, the fact that my laundry was put away, or the garbage was taken out, wont even matter, so why does it matter now. I need to take this time with my girls, while they still want to take it with me. Last night my girls didnt get out of the bath until they were both little prunes.
Carpe Diem - seize the day. Does it really mean what I used to think it did? Make the most out of every moment, and live your life to the fullest. Or does it mean what Ive recently started to beleive? Seize the moments that matter, and just "be". The unimportant things can wait.
Every day is made up of a thousand little moments, if we try to fill them with two thousand ticks off a to do list, we can lose out on the preciousness that a moment can hold. Thats not to say that I want to sit in rapture and stare at my kids all day, but I want to make a point of cherishing this amazing time in our lives a little more.
I know Carpe Diem has taken on a bit of a bad rap lately, but its something that I want to try to do, just not the way i used to.

Lazy sunday

Its a cold snowy day outside and i just feel like hibernating.
It seems like my life is so full of to-dos right now and every day is packed full. Between the gym, the kids, my as yet unfulfilled new years reolution to purge my house, visiting family, etc, i seem to have no time to just sit back and relax.
I had been planning on taking the girls to the park today, but instead i think a pj day is just what the dr. ordered.