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Showing posts with label sophia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sophia. Show all posts

Back When It All Was New


A good friend of mine recently found  out that shes expecting her first baby.
I am beyond excited!
I love watching the people around me grow their families, and there's something magical about going through it for the first time, isn't there?
She has so much to look forward to, the fluttery baby kicks,  the growing belly, the connection that you feel with your baby, before you even meet them.  I cant wait to watch her blossom into a mother, and to watch her and her husband become parents.
As I always do, whether I get asked or not, I want to share my own knowledge with them.  Which prenatals are best, what you can do for a headache, what is safe to eat and what isn't?

I find though, that in talking to them, my mind has drudged up memories of a time when it was all new to me.

Hes skinny and Im cold

failure to thrive
I wonder how many calories
are in those fingers
Tomorrow I go and get Little Z weighed again.
Fun!
This is the longest we've gone between appointments since this whole Failure to Thrive Debacle started.  I want to think hes gained, but I don't know.  At his last appointment he was just over eleven pounds, I'm hoping and praying that hes at least twelve pounds tomorrow.  If hes not, I think we'll be switching to chocolate formula.
I'm really lost on how this kid isn't completely round.  All he does is eat! I know a lot of moms feels that way, but I mean Literally.
I breastfeed for around twenty minutes and then give him a two oz bottle, he then falls asleep for about ninety minutes and then I breastfeed him again for twenty minutes, an hour or so later, we repeat. All day and all night.
And all day.
And all night

Update on us


Thank you to every one who wrote to me about their experiences with failure to thrive.  It's amazing how many people are affected by this. I have to admit, I was feeling alone and it's great to hear from others who have been there.
Z has started slowly gaining now, it's still slow though. We are finally above his birth weight which is fantastic, although not by much. We are sticking to our every two hour feeding schedule and have started supplementing with formula as well and we just keep on swimming.

Shes growing up

My big girl all dressed up for school
A few days ago, i took my baby to her kindergarten information night.
I still don't understand how she's old enough for this!
I have wavered back and forth between signing her up or not. Being a December baby, she is going to be the youngest in the class, and I really didn't know if shes ready. Three years old seems so young to be gone all day. Ive recently had to accept though that if I keep her home, it would be for me, not for her. Shes a little social butterfly, and I know shell love being in class with all the other kids.  Whether I'm ready to let her go or not, I think the best thing for her, is to go.
So we went to the initiation night, and I expected her to be excited, nervous, and shy. She was none of those things, she loved it. She jumped right into every activity, she showed off her counting, she used the giant computer, she asked questions, she loved every minute of it.
My little girl is so ready for school.
I don't think Ill ever be ready to let her go, and her taking this first step towards being her own person is really hard, a lot harder than i thought it would be, but seeing how she blossomed in that classroom, and hearing her talk about how shes so excited to start school, is making it a little easier. It's also bringing back memories for me. I loved school, and I hope she does too. At least it looks like were off to a good start. 

My month via Instagram

(except that Im a slacker so its more like my 7 weeks or so)

They're starting to work together

Sophia and her "liddle sisser"
but it's against me!



I always wanted my kids to be close. Close in age, and close friends as well. When I found out that my second pregnancy was also a girl, I felt that my eldest had lucked out, a built in best friend, what could be better than that? 
For the first eight months of my life as a mom of two, it was blissful contentment, Sophia really didn't notice the baby too much except to coo at her, or give her kisses and snuggles, she would tell everyone about the baby being " my liddle sisser", and there was always such pride in her voice. 
Then the baby began to crawl, and she loved to crawl to Sophia, or more specifically Sophia's toys. It was always whatever Sophia had that had the most interest to her baby sister. I knew that it was the beginnings of hero worship, but to Sophia it was this clumsy drooling monster intent on taking her things. All of a sudden poor Vinnie was less the "liddle sisser" and more the

"mommyshestouchingmydollyagainmakeherstopmakeherstopmakeherstop".



Over time, and really not as much time as you would think, Vanessa began to relish her roll as the tormenting little sister.  I would watch her sit across a room from Sophia, who was oblivious to being studied, and I could see the plotting going through her sneaky little sister mind.  If I was patient, and I waited ( never long) I would be able to witness Vanessa's lightning quick attacks on whatever Sophia was playing with at the moment.  I swear, sometimes I felt like I was on safari watching the Cheetahs attack.

accomplices

Now though, that Vanessa is fully mobile, and a lot more communicative, I'm noticing a whole new kind of relationship come about, almost a partnership, or maybe a dictatorship is a better word. Following her big sisters instructions Vanessa ( who's hands are the only ones small enough) has been caught many times pilfering snacks from the cupboard. Vanessa is now the one that scales down the backs of my furniture to get dropped toys, the one who is helped (pushed) over the baby gate in the living room to run amok.  On one hand I'm happy to see that they're learning to work together, and that they have each others backs, on the other hand, I'm dreading whats to come as their plans grow in scale and ambition.
I think yesterdays facebook stauts sort of sums it all up,

"Just heard a thump coming from the backroom where the girls are, followed by Vanessa crying, within seconds I also heard Sophia rush to her sister and say Shhh Vinvin its ok shhhh and a big kiss, my heart was warmed and i walked into the room just in time to hear Sophia say, shhhhh dont tell mom, shes coming now.


sigh"

Things I got yelled at for today

I think in some ways being a parent to a toddler is a lot like being in a really bad relationship. There's constant power struggles, you have to snoop to find out whats going on, you get yelled at A Lot, and you lose all control over the remote.
Now, before I get a million emails about how wonderful kids are, and how ungrateful i am, I know; I wouldn't trade either of my kids for all the sanity in the world, but sometimes I really wish there was a pause button.  S has recently entered into a phase ( oh god i hope its a phase ) where she freaks out about everything. Everything. Here's a sample of today,

I gave her the wrong sippy cup
the water was too warm
her square cheese wasn't square enough
she wanted pants not leggings
she didnt want stripey pants
her dress was not a princess dress
Brave was too scary
The floor was cold on her legs
she doesn't like blankets
She wanted the Minnie Mouse nightgown but i gave her the Minnie Mouse pyjamas


and thats all from one kid!
Im screwed when the little one learns to talk. 
Is it wine o'clock yet?

Today she turns 3

I can barely believe it, but today my little Princess turns 3!
How can she be three already? It seems like yesterday she came hiccuping into the world, and now she's sitting on the couch watching Jake and the Pirates and singing about Gold Doubloons.
I love this picture of her, she was so tiny! I couldn't believe we actually got to take her home, I was more than a little terrified.
We had quite a learning curve, me and her, breastfeeding, sleeping, solids, we went through it all the first time together, and right in front of my eyes, she changed slowly into the beautiful caring, sweet little girl that she is today. 

Happy Birthday Princess, I love you


I think she may be confused.


Ever since I had my youngest daughter Ive been trying to make sure to find one on one time with my toddler. In the beginning it was almost impossible to plan my days but now that things have settled down and Vanessa is taking something resembling a nap on a semi regular basis, Ive been able to devote a few specific times a day to Sophia.
Every day we have our little rituals. Nap time stories, emptying the dishwasher and making the bed have become something we both look forward to.
Our favorite ritual by far though is Sophia's massage. I used to give S. a massage when she was little, every night after her bath. We both loved it. But as she got older and bath time became play time and after bath time became chase-the-wriggling-wet-screaming-toddler-through-the-house-time, our quiet massage ritual became a rarity. Then came the chaos of two under two and for several months we had no routine or schedule at all.
Ive now carved out a piece of (almost) every morning just after Sophia wakes up, and while Vinnie is down for her morning nap, for massage time. We use pretty smelling cream and rub her toes,legs, back, tummy and arms.
Ive been trying to use this time to teach Sophia the names of her body parts. Last week we talked about funny bones. Sophia thought this was the funniest name ever and every opportunity she got she would point her elbows and yell "funny elbows" while laughing uncontrollably.
This morning i spent a little time talking about her feet. I showed her her heels, her arches, the balls of her feet, and her toes. We also talked about the muscles in her feet and legs and how they all work together to help her run. She was very quiet all through our little lesson and when we were done she ran off to play.
Ten minutes later daddy came downstairs. Sophia ran up to him, sat down with a thump, lifted her feet in the air and declared loudly enough for the neighbors to hear.

"Look at my balls daddy! Look at them"

I couldn't help bursting out with laughter at his face. I rarely see my husband speechless so this was a treat. Of course Sophia saw my laughing and kept at it, spinning in circles and singing "dancing on my balls dancing on my toe-toes dancing on my balls"

I think she may be a little confused.

You really cant predict what a toddler will take from anything you teach them, i just hope she gets all the ball talk out of her system before we go to her grandmothers house tonight for dinner...

Kids say the darndest things

This is an actual conversation that transpired in my house yesterday, while I was on the phone with my mom

Sophia: mommy, mommy,mommy

Me: Hold on baby mommy's on the phone

Sophia: Mom, mommy, mama, mama, mama, MOM, mommy, mom, mommy MOM, MAMA, mamamommymommamamommyMOMMAMAMOMMYMOMMOMMOMMAMAMAMAMAMAMA
MOMMOMMYMOMMAMAMOMMYMOMMOMMOMMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMOMMAMAMOMMOM
MOMMOMMYMOMMAMAMOMMYMOMMOMMOMMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMOMMAMAMOMMMOMMOMMYMOMMAMAMOMMYMOMMOMMOMMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMOMMAMAMOMMMOMMOMMYMOMMAMAMOMMYMOMMOMMOMMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMOMMAMAMOMMMOMMOMMYMOMMAMAMOMMYMOMMOMMOMMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMOMMAMAMOMMMOMMOMMYMOMMAMAMOMMYMOMMOMMOMMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMOMMAMAMOMMMOMMOMMYMOMMAMAMOMMYMOMMOMMOMMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMOMMAMAMOMMMOMMOMMYMOMMAMAMOMMYMOMMOMMOMMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMOMMAMAMOMM

Me (hand over the receiver): What? What? What?

Sophia: Go away mommy

Mom (who is oh so sympathetic): Wow! you're raising a little you.

Oh the joys of a two year old.

The Green Monster


My daughter has always been a Daddy's Little Girl. She adores him, and doesn't keep it a secret. Its been that way since day one. Don't get me wrong, she loves me too, its just that in her eyes, Daddy is the greatest. I cant say I blame her, she does have a great daddy.
It's not that I doubt that she loves me, i get so many hugs and kisses all day, every day that it would be impossible to doubt, but there's no denying that daddy is her rock star.

Every day it seems Sophia is learning new things, new words, new ways to express herself, new games, she is constantly learning. Her new thing is sentences, she is so proud is herself when she learns a new sentence. It started with "Bye-Bye Daddy", then there was "whats that?" which she uses about a bazillion times a day.

Her newest sentence though, blew us both away. We were sitting at the dinner table, and both me and Daddy were playing with Sophia as she ate. Out of nowhere, in a voice as clear as a bell, she said,

"I love you Daddy"

It was probably almost thirty seconds before I could pick my jaw up off the floor. Sophia hears the words I love you at least a hundred times a day from me and Daddy, but she has never said them back,
Never.
I was overjoyed, my little girl just declared her love.
I wanted to jump up and grab her, give her tons of hugs and kisses, but Daddy had already scooped her up in his arms and was dancing around the living room.

I let them have their moment, and later on after we had tucked her into
bed, when we were sitting on the couch talking about the day, and he was just beaming with pride thinking about his little girls adoration, I tried not to let my jealousy show, but I will admit it was hard.

It's been a week since she said it, and she has yet to say it again. I try constantly to get her to say it, the kid must hear "I love you Chickadee" no less than 200 times a day, but she's holding out. I think she knows if she makes me wait, she can milk this. Many of you may doubt that a fourteen month old can have the plotting power of a James Bond super villain but its true. You just watch, she'll say those words again, and I bet you it will be in a toy aisle.
and It will probably work.


Booby Traps

I recently came across an article through Best For Babies that really spoke to me.
It talked about the "Booby Traps" or roadblock that almost every new mom faces if she decides to breastfeed. A lot of them are things you wouldnt even think would affect your feeding choices, for example whether or not your mom or friends breastfed, but these seemingly minor details can have profound effect on you if you are already doubting yourself even a little bit.
And lets face it, we all doubt ourselves even under the best of circumstances, and becoming a mother, with all of the responsibilities involved with it, can be one of our most vulnerable times.
If you've been reading this blog for a while you know I am very pro breastfeeding, and while I know its not possible or even desirable for every mom to breastfeed, I really do beleive that a lot of women who do want to breastfeed are given road-blocks every step of the way.
For me, breastfeeding my daughter until she was 13 months old is a huge accomplishment. I loved doing it, and there was never a doubt in my mind that i wouldn't do everything in my power to continue our relationship as long as it was mutually beneficial, but at the beginning especially, there were a lot of people and situations that made it a lot more difficult than it had to be.
There were two in particular from the article that I could especially relate to;
You’ve taken a childbirth preparation class, and think you are ready, but breastfeeding got only an hour tacked on at the end, or you took a hospital breastfeeding class but, that unbeknownst to you, included myths and misinformation and was given at a hospital that does not have a good track record for breastfeeding continuation (ask how many moms leave the hospital exclusively breastfeeding if you really want to know how committed they are).
During my hospital registration and hospital stay, it was drilled into me that my hospital was pro-breastfeeding, but I found this to be the opposite of the truth. I was told before going in for my C-section that I would be able to breastfeed in the recovery room. After two and a half hours of waiting I finally asked the nurse when I would be able to hold my baby and breastfeed her, and I was told I had to wait until I got a room because they wouldn't be able to transport me with the baby in my bed.
I had my husband bring her to me anyway and I fed my child for the first time under the unapproving looks of he nurse. Once I got her though, I didn't want to let go, and the porter never even batted an eye about taking me to my room as I held my daughter.
The second obstacle I faced was when the weighed my daughter, she was born at 6 lbs 11 oz and by the second day she had dropped to six lbs. The nurses started talking about supplementing her with formula. I asked to speak with the lactation consultant on staff before I did that and was told I would have to wait, possibly until the next morning.
Luckily I had packed the contact information of a lactation clinic that i had already decided to use for my follow up care. I called them and explained the situation. They told me that it was in my best interests to supplement with the formula, but to use a tube attached to my nipple to do so.
I had learned about this technique through my prenatal classes and was comfortable trying it. When the nurse came back though, I asked her if the hospital supplied the tubes, she had never even heard of them. I asked a second nurse and she told me that the tubes were impossible to clean, difficult to use and very uncomfortable.
This went against what I had read about them before, and so I sent my husband in search of one figuring one of the twenty plus stores in the hospital would have it, but no luck. In fact the only breastfeeding supplies he could find i any of the stores were pumps and they only carried one type from one brand .I couldn't beleive it, you could buy everything from a christmas tree to a coffee mug to a welcome mat, but nowhere carried breastfeeding supplies.
In the end we ended up having to use the bottle provided by the hospital. I figured supplementing for one night wouldn't hurt, and the next day after we were released we could track down a tube.
I was so mistaken, after the very first bottle my daughters latch changed, after the second it was as if she had forgotten how. Even though we were breastfeeding at every feeding
(feeding for twenty minutes per side, then pumping for twenty minutes per side, repeated every two hours) the bottle was completely undermining our efforts.
I was so stressed out and I didnt know what to do, on one hand Sophia needed the formula in order to gain weight. The words failure to thrive were already being whispered by my nurses and threats were being made about keeping her in the hospital. On the other hand the bottle was destroying her ability to latch. Even worse, we still hadn't seen nor heard from the LC.
Luckily, we were released the next morning and were able to see the lactation clinic of our choice that afternoon. The difference between the hospital and the clinic was night and day. They listened to my concerns, they watched me feed her, weighed her before and after and concluded that she was getting milk. They showed me how to hold her chin so she would latch properly, provided us with a feeding tube and most importantly gave us the confidence that we could reverse the damage done by the bottle.
Now this was pro-breastfeeding.
They also told us that Sophias weight at birth had probably not been a true weight. I had had an extended labor before the C-section. For almost forty eight hours I had been hooked up to steady stream of pitocin, antibiotics, and fluids. According to our Dr at the lactation clinic, most babies born after similar labors lose more than 10% of their body weight when they lose the excess fluid from the labor. I was shocked, this hadn't even been brought up in the hospital.
They told me that it was up to me if I wanted to continue supplementing or not, but they recommended that i did just in case. I went with their recommendation and they taught me how to tube feed her the formula, they also told me that i only needed to supplement an ounce a feeding, and as I was able to pump more and more I would need less formula.
Happily, after almost a week of breastfeeding and pumping every two hours around the clock, as well as daily visits and weigh ins at the clinic, my milk was in enough that we were able to stop supplementing, and within two weeks, she was above her birth weight.
I am so glad that I had been proactive about choosing a lactation clinic, they were immeasurable helpful to me in the first few days and weeks. Had I relied on my "pro-breastfeeding" hospital to guide me through, I doubt I would have made it.

Your pediatrician charts your baby’s weight against formula-fed babies and thinks she/he is undernourished, undermining your confidence and self-esteem. Compared against breastfed babies, your baby is healthy and thriving, but your pediatrician doesn’t know that breastfed babies have different growth patterns so he recommends you supplement with formula.

My dr. was constantly telling me that Sophia was underweight, or gaining too slowly. She was consistently in the tenth percentile according to his charts. Luckily I knew that Breastfed babies grow at different rates than formula fed babies according to the WHO. I followed the chart on KellyMom and never worried about her growth.

It can be hard to know who to trust when everyone is giving you conflicting information. The best thing you can do for yourself and your child, is to educate yourself in advance of giving birth, on the choices you have. Talk to your friends and relatives that have breastfed and find a lactation clinic in your area before you give birth. Ask questions, and dont be afraid to question any information given to you. Demand second opinions.

But most of all, trust your instincts, dont let anybody make you doubt a decision you made in the best interests of you or your family. Always remember that you are the expert on your child.

Click here to read the rest of the Booby Trap Article at BestForBabies.com

This is one of may all time favorite photos from the first few days after having Sophia. I loved feeding her, and she loved to eat, actually she still does to this day.